Like many, I’ve struggled with feeling put together since having children.
Its hard to feel that way when you have spit up on your shirt.
You haven’t showered in 2 days.
Your body doesn’t look like it once did.
You skin breaks out like a teenager again.
You are constantly dealing with dirty diapers and bananas smashed into the carpet.
Your house has insurmountable piles of laundry.
You have to move the toys off the couch just to find a place to sit.
Your toes still have the same chipped polish that you put on 6 weeks ago in a moment of solitude.
If you get 5 hours of continuous sleep, you count it as a victory.
But think of this…
Think back to the earliest memory you have of your mother.
Do you remember her toenail polish?
The bags under her eyes from exhaustion?
Her dirty shirt?
The state of the house?
I hope not.
I remember big hugs.
Helping her in the kitchen and the sound of the tv in the background, likely on to entertain me for a minute so she could get dinner on the table for us..
I remember kissed boo-boos, wiped tears, and warm looks.
Our children don’t see us the way we see ourselves.
They don’t see the mess of a person we feel like sometimes.
They just see their mommy.
I took these self portraits in the few rare moments in my day when both of my babies were sleeping.
No make-up other than some mascara from several days prior.
My hair not having seen a brush.
In a shirt that I’m not sure was clean.
Not put together.
But, this is who my children see everyday.
This is who they love.
And thats good enough for me.